But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
