We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize