The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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