She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
