i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
