GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize