So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
