Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
did i just pee glitter
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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