this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
