I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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