I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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