So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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