I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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