sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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