hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
