So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
