we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
