u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
