I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
