Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
