I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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