i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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