Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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