in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
