I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
