also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
