Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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