so that wasnt chicken after all
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
