Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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