My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
