you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
