You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
this is an emotional support booty call
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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