im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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