I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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