she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
are you so shy because you have an std?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize