it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
