she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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