Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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