Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
