I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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