is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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