This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
