Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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