hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
