3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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