whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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