Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
