I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
