Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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