I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
