I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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