xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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