I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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