Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
id be glad to
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
