dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
