I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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