Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
