I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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