she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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