therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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