You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize