lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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