Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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