I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
