You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
