Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This baby is an asshole
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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