i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
