What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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