I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My vagina just clenched in fear
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
