morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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