I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to stick my p in your. b.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize