How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
