i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
honey bunches of taint.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
