I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
