I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
