I want to make a zoo with you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want to be your penis for a week.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize