She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize