Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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