Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
