And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I smell like Dick and happiness
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