I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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