OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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