The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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