Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
