absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
