I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
