Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
did i just pee glitter
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
